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Coming out

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Coming out | story.one

How do you tell your mom, that you’re into girls? I found out that I am attracted to girls about a year ago and since then I tried to figure out my sexuality. Am I bi, pan, a lesbian or something else? I wanted to be fully sure about it before I tell my mom and now I am sure.I rest my head in my hands. She will react okay. She won’t be disappointed, hopefully. My eyes find a clock that informs me that it’s 4 pm. So she should be done with work by now. I decide I just wanna get it over with and get up.My mom is in the living room and my heart starts to race a little. She looks up when I approach her and smiles at me.“Hey, baby. How was your day?” She asks and pads the space on the couch next to her. “It was good. Can we talk?” I ask straight away while my fingers start to fiddle with each other.“Of course. Is everything okay?” Her eyes look at me worried and I nod shortly but stay quiet. I feel the nervousness pulsing through my body. My leg bounces and my fingers fiddle.“You can tell my anything, Kara. I won’t judge or be mad.” Mom promises as I keep quiet and tugs some hair behind my ears.I nod and take a deep breath, my eyes focused on my fingers. Here goes nothing.“I like girls.” I say quietly. “That’s great, sweetheart. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” She encourages me and I slowly look up into her honest eyes. There’s not the slightest bit of disapproval in them and my pulse slowly calms down.“You’re not…disappointed or mad or anything?” I ask back.“No. Why would I?” She takes my hands in hers and rubs little circles over the back of them. “I’m honored you told me and I am really happy you feel comfortable with it. I just want you to be happy and it doesn’t matter if it’s a girl or a boy or someone non-binary that makes you happy. As long as they treat you right and you feel good, I’m happy for you.” She assures me and it feels like a weight is lifted off my body. “Thank you, Mom. That means a lot to me. I was so scared you wouldn’t love me anymore or be disappointed.” I share and feel some tears building up. Her hands cup my face softly and she kisses my forehead.“I will always love and support you. And you could never disappoint me, baby. I just want you to be who you are and I don’t care who you love and I also wouldn’t care if you told me you wanted to change genders or something like that. I support and love you no matter what you do, or who you wanna be.” The tears spill out of my eyes and I hug her tightly, relieved that she accepts me. She rubs my back and kisses my head.“I love you, sweetheart.” “I love you too, Mom.” I reply and pull back. She softly wipes away my tears and smiles at me.

© Daria Lehmann 2022-08-09

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